SeaCow vs. SydSquid

And furthermore on the subject of intelligence, isn't it all really relative? I mean, put me in a tank full of water and start letting little fish and sea lice humiliate me and there's nothing my big smart brain can do about it. I'm out of my element and my high IQ or general genius can't begin to make the remedial grade. Just 'cause a species doesn't "intelligize" well on a human scale doesn't necessarily mean it ain't sparkin' on all cylinders. Who said human intelligence was the end-all-be-all??

Wouldn't it be nice if we weren't so smug about our feeble brain power?? There are all kinds of intelligence mingling among us but because they don't measure up on a standardized test, we smirk and poo-poo them. Yeah, look how smart we are - raping our environment, killing eachother willy-nilly, creating unsustainable growth.

Yeah - we're REAL smart.

Genius or Retentive????

These aren't real indicators, but it's something for the grey matter to masticate:

You paid attention during 100% of high school!

85-100% You must be an autodidact, because American high schools don't get scores that high! Good show, old chap!

Do you deserve your high school diploma?
Create a Quiz

@ the Cock Shack

Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?????

to kick this little kid's ass..................



And after much laughter, the minstrels were eaten and my sick, talented, bloggy friend Brad wrote this little ditty:

Genius, Briliant!!!!!!

If you see a faded sign by the side of the road that says
15 miles to the... Cock Shack! Cock Shack yeah
I'm headin' down the Des Moines highway,
lookin' for the cock getaway
Heading for the cock getaway, love getaway,
I got me a farm truck it's as big as a whale
and we're headin' on down
To the Cock Shack
I got me a transport, it seats about 20
So hurry up and bring your moonshine money

The Cock Shack is a little old place
where poulty fornicate
Cock Shack baby, Cock Shack bay-bee.
Peck me baby, that's where it's at,
Ooo peck me baby, that's where it's at

Sign says.. Woo... stay away ducks,
'cause cocks rule at the Co-o-ock Shack!
Well it's set way back in the middle of a field,
Just a funky old 'bago and I gotta get back

Corn feed on the mattress
Corn feed on the highway
Corn feed on the front porch
Corn feed on the hallway

The Cock Shack is a little old place
where poultry fornicate
Cock Shack bay-bee! Cock Shack baby!
Cock Shack, that's where it's at!
Peckin' and a scratchin', cluckin' and a layin',
wearin' next to nothing
Cause it's hot as an oven
The whole shack shimmies!
The whole shack shimmies when everybody's
Movin' around and around and around and around!
Everybody's cluckin', everybody's fuckin' baby!
Hens linin' up outside just to get down
Everybody's cluckin', everybody's fuckin' baby
Funky little shack! Funk-y little shack!

Hop in my farm truck,
it's as big as a whale
and it's about to set sail!
I got me a transport, it seats about twenty
So c'mon and bring your moonshine money.

The Cock Shack is a little old place
where we can get together
Cock Shack baby! Cock Shack bay-bee!
(Cock Shack...Cock Shack...)
Cock Shack, that's where it's at!

Peck peck peck on the door baby!
Peck a little louder baby!
Peck peck peck on the door baby!
I can't hear you
Peck peck on the door baby
Peck peck on the door
Peck peck on the door baby
Peck peck
You're what?... Big cock, busted!

Cock Shack, baby Cock Shack!
Cock Shack, baby Cock Shack!
Cock baby, that's where it's at
Cock Shack, baby Cock Shack!
Cock baby, that's where it's at
Cluckin' and a scratchin',
Peckin' and a layin' at the cock shack

Meme, Schmeme...

Not normally, but when uninspired...

1. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR KITCHEN PLATES? White, but I DO have garden plates with parrots on them, so there!!

2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? "The Heretic" & International Finance

3. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? mouse

4. FAVORITE BOARD GAME? Trivial Pursuit, Pictionary (the best game for spasmodics like myself)

5. LEAST FAVORITE SMELLS? Can't say I ever met a smell I couldn't tolerate. But what about those people who haven't taken a shower for a while, been drinking non-stop, and peed a bit in their pants... yea, no so much on that smell.

6. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF IN THE MORNING? "How much longer can I stay here??""

7. FAVORITE COLOR: purple or pistachio

8. LEAST FAVORITE COLOR: black - not really a color unto itself but a lack thereof

9. HOW MANY RINGS UNTIL YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? whatever, I screen

10. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME? Fetus Maximus

11. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? Ack - raspberry or pomegranate

12. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST? Just how fast are we talkin' about here??

13. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? real only, please

14. DO YOU LIKE THUNDERSTORMS? immensely

15. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? '64 VW bug, red with white vinyl interior, no A/C (in Texas)... Hot, Baby, Hot!!!

16. FAVORITE SONG TO SING OUT LOUD? Hall & Oates - "You Make My Dreams Come True" or that song from the circus tha tthey play on the calliope

17. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? for the birds

18. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB WHAT WOULD IT BE? cetacean researcher/trainer

19. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY COLOR HAIR WHAT WOULD IT BE? red, red, red

20. IS THE GLASS HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY?stupid optimist questions...

21. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE? tie - "Dangerous Liaisons" or "Dances with Wolves"

22. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR HANDS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? hardly

23. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? ghost turds; supports for the waterbed; and a pathetic, beaten down bogey-man or two

24. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 68 - no comment

25. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH? TV - American football, live - rugby, ice hockey

26. BIGGEST INTENSE PAIN? this f*****ing Master's degree

27. (deleted due to irrelevance)

28. (ibid)
- evil #29 has been stricken from the record
30. HAMBURGER OR HOT DOG? die meat-etaers!!!! die, die, die

31. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? Birthday season

32. THE BEST PLACE YOU HAVE EVER BEEN? Taiwan was pretty cool, but I was to young to appreciate it

33. BEST FEATURE ON YOU? some say eyes, I like my big ol' brain, but boobs are definitely right up there

34. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FAST FOOD? Whataburger (I know...hypocrite)

35. YOUR BIRTH NAME? if I tell you I have to kill you